Monday, September 12, 2011

My Writing

My little secret.  I mentioned before that I did some writing.   Here is the scoop.  I write for our national quilting publication here in Canada.  I have my own column.  It is a humorous approach to quilting.  Occasionally the editor feels the need to put in a little sidebar stating that my humour does not reflect the views of the magazine.   I guess there is a need to warn the readers that this chick is very sarcastic.   Such is life.   I mean no harm to anyone, and I usually laugh my head off while I write them.  

The editor, a dear sweet super talented woman, has given me permission to allow my articles to be put on my blog.  So just to follow copyright procedures, this one is from the Summer 2010 CQA/ACC magazine.

My disclaimer is this, it is not one of my funniest.  But it was my first one, so I think it deserves to be showcased too.   As an aside, I do have an all time favourite article, and it will get published here.  I still can't read it without laughing, and trust me when I say I have read it over 50 times.   

I even have a name I write under, I call myself the 'Creative Cousin'.  Anyway, have a read, and I hope you have one chuckle. 

The Fabric Phenomenon

There is one thing that every quilter needs in order to create a quilt.  I am not referring to chocolate, although that is an important tool in quilting,   I am talking about  fabric.

We need fabric to make our works of art.   But it is more than that.  We need it to sustain us.   Every quilter has some experience in this area.   I have met hundreds of  quilters, and each is different in their fabric needs and wants.  After careful research,  I have come up with several types of quilters.  

I will start with  those quilters that buy fabric at the onset of every quilt.   They must purchase new material  as they start a new quilt.  I call this group the  Methodical Quilters.   They have the same practiced method each time they begin a new quilt.   They find a pattern, decide on the size of quilt, jot down the amount of fabric needed, and immediately drive to  their  favourite quilt shop.  After a set amount of time looking at material, they purchase it, drive home and begin cutting it up.   These quilters I admire.   They set goals, work at it, and finish the quilt in a timely manner.   They are a very rare breed.   I don’t  qualify for this group, chances are you don’t either.  

I love  the ‘Oh my gosh,  I can’t believe I just found a quilt shop’  Quilters.  The members of this group  boast extreme politeness and  thoughtfulness.   Upon stumbling  onto  a new quilt store,  (that they had secretly spent hours researching ,  then acting completely surprised when they find it),  they go in and feel it is only courteous to buy something from this business to show their support and thankfulness that there was a store in the area they were shopping in.  Guaranteed you know someone who fits into this group, as you probably always offer to  go with them when they say they are going shopping. 

There are some  that take the scientific approach to quilting.  I call this group the Fabric Scientists.   These are the quilters that will pull several pieces of fabric out of their stash and look at them together, then separately, make notes,  move them around in another manner, mix them up again, take more notes,  and finally come up with a synopsis that they simply must purchase more fabric in order for this experiment  ( quilt) to work.  

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the  Scholarly Quilters.  These women study the many  topics of quilting.   For example, one area is colour.   In theory the colour wheel is discussed along with values, hues and intensity.   When it comes to doing the practical, you are forced to go into your stash and create different examples showing the hues and values of several colours.  At this point, the Scholarly
 Quilter realizes that in order to achieve a better mark, it  is  imperative that they  purchase more fabric.   I sometimes take a course just to provide a more innovative  excuse to my husband as to why I need more fabric, usually ending with the comment, “You don’t want me to fail the course, do you?”

The new trend is the Enviro Quilter.   This person is the one that knows how important it is to recycle and reuse fabric.  This is becoming very popular.   You will find this quilter in second hand stores, rummage sales and even looking through your garbage.   They produce fantastic quilts and save a lot of money.  And what a great way to increase your stash.

Then there are the quilters that I envy.   They are the ones that have worked hard their whole lives, raised their children, looked after their husbands and now it is their time to enjoy life.   I call these ladies the Golden Quilters.   They are the ones that go into a quilt store and buy whatever they want, whenever they want.   These quilters deserve it, and I applaud them for getting to this point in their lives where they can enjoy themselves. 

I think the most fun one to watch  is the Impulsive Quilter.   This one goes to every quilt show with the motive that they are not going to buy any fabric.  They are simply there to take in the beauty of the quilts, and enjoy the company of other quilters.   Nonetheless this quilter ends up in the vendors’ market every time with her wallet open.   You can always zero in on the Impulsive Quilter by the comments made.  “Oh,  I really shouldn’t get this, I already have so much fabric.”  Or “I don’t even know what I am going to use this for, but I simply must have it.”
My favourite line is when they get into the car with their friends and are doing a little show and share and the impulsive quilter exclaims, “I had no idea I bought so much!”


Jan said...

When I started quilting, just over 2 years ago, I had to be a Methodical Quilter, I had no stash - none. But at heart, I'm a Golden Quilter. I'm old, I can do what I want, and I've built a comfortable stash!

Snoodles said...

I guess I must be schizophrenic! I have the qualities of several of those quilters --- it just varies by the day which one I am channeling! LOL
Thanks for a humorous addition to my day!

Brooke said...

You go girl!!!

Dana Gaffney said...

That is wonderful Jackie. You described them to a tee. I think it was nice of you to leave out the addicts, I know you didn't want to show the dark side.

jlk said...

So funny! I can't wait to

WandaFish said...

Great post! Can't say I recognised myself though ;)

Caryl W said...

That was so have so many talents!! Looking forward to more articles you have written.

Katrina said...

Great article! I think I am a cross between a couple of them LOL!